How Government Works

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night, so they created a night watchman position (GS-4)and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?” So they created a planning position and hired two people: one person to write the instructions (GS-12) and one person to do time studies (GS-11).

Then Congress said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?” So they created a Q. C. position and hired two people, one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports.

Then Congress said, “How are these people going to get paid?” so they created the following positions, a timekeeper (GS-09) and a payroll officer (GS-11) and hired two people.

Then Congress said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?” So they created an administrative position and hired three people: an Admin. Officer (GM-13), an Assistant Admin.
Officer (GS-13) and a Legal Secretary (GS-08).

Then Congress said, “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost,” so they laid off, the night watchman.

Of course the only one cut would be the only one who was actually doing something, the rest where just created positions to push paper around in circles and pretend to be actually doing work. It is a great gig if you can get one but totally worthless as far as actual work is concerned.

And there are some who still think that the Government can run investment banks, insurance companies, auto companies and even health care. Surely you can’t be serious.